Today begins six days that my children will be home with me. There’s nothing better than having my house filled with the sounds of my kids. I’m going to make some cookies today that I’ve never made. They’ll be guinea pigs for a cookie exchange that is happening in three weeks. Plus, I’ll bring them to my sister’s house tomorrow for Thanksgiving.

The holiday season always starts me thinking of what I’m grateful for in my life. I thought about doing a Thursday Thirteen, but then though that there’d be so many, how could I narrow it down to just thirteen? I could name at least thirteen people that I’m grateful for, and that would be just the beginning. No, why cheapen the feeling of gratefulness by listing the top thirteen.

This holiday season will be different than any other because it will be my grandmother’s last. Although very weak and mostly unresponsive, she is still hanging on. Each time I see her, she’s a little bit worse. It’s amazing to me that she still continues to live, but as hospice’s brochure says that death is a very personal experience. She will go when she is ready to go.

But even with the death of my beloved grandmother hanging over me, I feel at peace with the situation and my days. I’m enormously grateful for life I’m leading. I have good health, a nice home, a wonderful husband, loving children, a loving group of relatives, a loving and very supportive group of friends, an amazing workplace….oh so much.

As we begin the holiday season, take a few minutes to forget your troubles and to concentrate on all the good in your life. I guarantee it will bring a smile to your face.

Happy Holidays and Peace,

Kris

Yesterday I treated a very good friend to a workshop with Dr. Wayne Dyer. My friend and I love this man, have read many of his books and have watched many of his PBS specials. Since we’ve read and heard so much from this man, I have to admit that probably only about half of what he said during the three-hour lecture was new. But that didn’t matter to us; just having the chance to see this man in person made it all worthwhile. His lecture could’ve been a complete repeat of everything we’d heard, and we wouldn’t have cared.

This workshop was his “Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life.” He studied that Tao for a year and then published a book with essays after each of the eighty-one verses. I have to admit that I haven’t read all of the verses. It seems that I would pick up that book at night, then only to find that I should’ve read it in the morning so that I could apply the ideas throughout the day. It is now something that I hope to be able to do at least a few times during the week so that I can better understand the Tao.

The idea of getting what you think about is not new to me. I was introduced to Abraham-Hicks several years ago, and, in my more productive days, I try to apply the Law of Attraction deliberately. I’ve come to learn that it is true; I do get what I set my mind to, but that it doesn’t come quickly if I don’t apply myself.

Take my current job for instance. During most of the earlier part of this year, I was excited, yet dreaded the idea of getting a job. My youngest would be in school full-time starting in September, and it only made sense to me that I should find something part-time. I half-heartedly looked through the classifieds, spoke with people at the school about positions available. Nothing really excited me. I’d looked at craigslist every once in awhile, but the idea of having to drive twenty miles to an office really turned me off.

Then one day, I saw an ad on craigslist for a part-time editor in the town next to mine. I applied, but then thought nothing of it. When I got an email for an interview, I was astounded. During and after the interview, I felt as if I’d met some old friends. It was the strangest experience. I knew when I walked out of there that they’d be making a huge mistake if they didn’t hire me. Obviously they felt the same way since I was offered the position.

I’ve said several times that it was serendipity that got me this job. I now realize that it was the Universe listening to me and responding.

Now, if only that agent would call me back…..

Peace,

Kris

My almost 99 year-old grandmother is still hanging on. It is hard to believe, but I swear she is running on Energizer batteries. She is barely alert, as her body is slowing shutting down. It is very hard for family members, myself included, to watch this process. And although this is incredibly sad, I keep thinking that I’m so lucky to have had the chance to tell her how much I love her. So many don’t get that chance.

But I’ve also resigned myself that even though she can still tell me she loves me, the person in the hospital bed is really not my grandmother. I can’t have long, intimate talks with her. She can no longer impart any wise words. She sleeps most of the time, but I’m sure she can hear us. Her face still shows the same worry lines around her eyes and the same firm lipped mouth of her disapproval.

Sooner, hopefully more than later, her heart will stop. Right now it’s beating in the 130s. Amazing to me since she is just laying there still as can be in the bed. I pray that her passing is painless, as well as swift. It is tremendously difficult on my father and step-mother. They are with her 24/7, with only short breaks when the hospice volunteer comes. I’m hoping today they’ll leave for a little bit while I’m there. But I also understand that they want to be there when she does finally pass. But God only knows when that will happen.

On a lighter note (thank God, right?), I’ve gone back to my story now. It’s amazing how crabby I get when I don’t spend time writing! Finally, the characters have beaten me down and have drug me back to the keyboard. Oh, it’s not as many words as I’d like, but it’s a start. It will get finished. It has to. This is going to be the one story that I break out with. I can feel it. And I have to get published….I told my grandma that I would, and I’m not a liar.

Peace,

Kris

Today, my husband and oldest son are going to Holland, MI for a hockey tournament. They left shortly after my youngest son got on the bus for school. We were all supposed to go, but with circumstances as they are, the youngest and I stayed home.

We’re very proud of our hockey player. He’s come such a long way from when he started, and we’re so happy that he has found his passion. He loves, loves, loves playing the game. My husband and I are huge hockey fans, so we were very happy (although a bit reluctant – you know all those possible injuries and fights) when he said he wanted to try hockey. Luckily for us, checking doesn’t start for another three years for us. Hopefully by then, I’ll be used to the little scraps that inevitably happen. My oldest sister’s son plays as well, and I’ve often asked her how she copes with watching her son out there checking the other players. She told me she just gets used to it. Thank goodness we’ve got a ways to go for that.

So…if you’re in the Holland, MI area and you want to see some Mite hockey, check out The Edge Ice Arena. You’ll see my son, Yankee #5 playing in four games between today and tomorrow. Wish I could be there, but things happening here at home are a bit more important than hockey.

Peace,

Kris

I was reading a book with a bunch of other Romance Divas. It’s Emotional Structure by Peter Dunne. I’ve only made it through the middle of chapter 2 and have had to stop because of what’s happening in my life right now. What I remember from my short reading is that Dunne states that you don’t have to write 24/7 to call yourself a writer. On the days you write, be it five minutes or five hours, you can call yourself a writer. On the days you don’t write, you’re something else. This past week, I’ve been something else; a mother, an editor, a wife, a daughter, a granddaughter, but not a writer. I’m not sure when I’ll be able to call myself a writer again. Blogging doesn’t count.

I’m not in a slump. Two days last week we didn’t have power. No writing got done then because I only write on the laptop. I obviously could write long hand, but my ideas don’t flow as quickly, and my writing gets way too messy. Trying to figure out what I’ve written when I type up my pages takes way too long. The other days were filled with work and family.

I can feel my story and characters wanting to come out. But right now my personal life is taking up so much space in my brain, that the characters don’t have a chance. I know they’ll wait for me. Wow – that sounds really schizophrenic.

You see, my ninety-eight year-old grandmother has been brought home to die. I know, ninety-eight. She’s old. But even with her long years, and the fact that I’ve been trying to prepare myself for her death for awhile now, still doesn’t make it any easier. So any time my brain is trying to process the situation, or when I’m trying to explain to my oldest son that no, she’s not in any pain, no she’s not going to get better, yes, she is going to die…it still doesn’t get any easier to delve into the now seemingly frivolous lives of the characters I’ve created.

But life goes on, and I must figure out a way to get back to writing. Perhaps once it is all done. She wanted me to be a writer. She encouraged it. When I finally get that first book published, it will be dedicated to her because she was the one who believed in me first.

What do you do when life gets in the way of writing? I’d like to know.

Peace,

Kris

I’ve been away for a few days because I’ve been so busy with work. Now with a few days off, I can get back to my own writing.  Which got me to thinking….do all writers use or listen to music when they write?

Before I start a new project, I create a playlist in my iPod so that I can listen to my heart’s content. Usually if I have the earbuds plugged into my head, the music is more of a background, and I don’t even pay attention to the songs. If I listen to the playlist through the speakers of my laptop, the music is more in my face. I pay more attention to it. Seems like it should be the opposite, but for me it isn’t.

I create the playlist with the main characters in mind. Right now, my heroine is really hoping to find love. She’ll tell you that she’s not interested, if you ask, but deep down she really wants to find her soul mate.  “This Kiss” by Faith Hill is her mantra. The heroine’s bff is desperately trying to hook up with an old flame, but realizes that it’s probably not in her best interest. Her song is “Big Girls Don’t Cry” by Fergie. Now my reluctant hero also is looking for love, but doesn’t think it’s a good idea to move on after his wife died – she’s been gone for over two years, but heck he still pines for her. But when he meets my H, all his ideas of living the celibate life change. His song is “Nearly Lost You” by the Screaming Trees.

What about you? Do you listen to music when you write, or does it have to be completely quiet? Are you crazy like me and pick songs for your characters?

Peace,

Kris